An Overachiever Gets Pregnant

We had technically had little more than a few months of TTC (Trying To Conceive) but being the overachieving, type-A, hyperanxious person that I am I had to GET PREGNANT NOW:

The Overachiever's Guide To Getting Pregnant Fast

MYTH: There's something wrong with you if you don't conceive within the first three months of trying.
This is a particularly nasty bit of misinformation because it causes a lot of couples a tremendous amount of anxiety and grief for no good reason. Although some couples do manage to conceive within the first three months of trying, a large number of other highly fertile couples take considerably longer than that. Consider the numbers for yourself:

Your odds of conceiving in any given cycle are approximately one in four.

Approximately 60% of couples who are actively trying to conceive (having intercourse two to three times a week) will conceive within the first 6 months of trying, 75% within 9 months, 80% within a year, and 90% within 18 months.

Despite such gentle reassurances, I was panicking within 3 months. We hadn't got to the buying-ovulation-kits stage yet though we'd got the calendar method going (also see previous post's note about, um, frequency). So, after a very determined holiday period, with no result and when our laidback NHS couldn't come up with any answers, I decided to consult a specialist back home during our annual visit to the ancestral home.

To begin with I listed everything that had changed or was different about me since I went off the pill. First, there was this embarassing amount of weight I'd piled on, I felt literally inflated. Even my face. My cheekbones had disappeared. Second, my bra size was climbing alarmingly and my favourite Victoria's Secret bras didn't fit anymore. Boy, that sucked. The third sign was only discovered when I actually saw the Ob-Gyn in Delhi. She showed me I was leaking colostrum! She immediately sent me off for blood work, a serum levels test. And bingo! they caught the pesky Prolactinemia. The doc prescribed a mystifying dose of delayed-release aspirin, cabergoline and folic acid. Within 4 weeks I was pregnant!

The Prolactin level in my blood was only off by a tiny bit. But that was enough to yield potentially devastating consequences. I came that close to being stamped "infertile", had I waited a whole year. See, there are advantages to being a hyperanxious overachiever!

Babe, You Ain't Infertile

No you've probably just got some (normally obscure) protein or hormone in your body that tiny bit askew throwing your baby-making factory off course.

So many couples give up so soon. Here's this rather scary story from India - scary to all of us thirtysomethings in the West with our kidulthood lifestyles lasting well into our 40s. Out there, folks, if you hit 35 without dropping a sprog, that's the end of it.

Are Modern Lifestyles Causing Infertility?

“This is my last attempt. I am not trying anymore. After this I will give up all treatments,” 35-year old Aranya breaks down in front of her close friend and confidant. Her frustration is due to the fact that she has not been able to bear a child in the last nine years of their marriage.

Note that the people quoted, and the story itself, originate from Southern India where fertility has always been a very high priority, culturally and sociologically. The specialist Doctor (who must be minting it) lists the leading causes of this epidemic (1 in 2 of 1920 couples in a niche population) of infertility. In her opinion: late marriage (i.e. after 30s... that's late?), stress, obesity, bad diet and low libido. Duh - the last one is like bloody obvious. I mean, what's the first step in baby-making? Then, like most ills in India nowadays, she blames high-earning I.T. jobs and career pressures that keep couples apart. Obviouser and obviouser, I say. But, anyhoo, other than not doing the obvious and having sex as often as you can get alone together, the main culprit is hormonal imbalance. That is, once you've stopped abusing controlled substances, smoking and slathering yourselves in sperm-killing oils and lotions.

I'd advise any woman faced with a dour prospect of the word "infertile" being stamped on her medical record after little more than a year to get her serum Prolactin levels checked out.
See next story.